What?

Week 2 of bronchitis and I still cannot smell or taste anything. Seriously. I remember all my favorite foods and will eat them like I CAN taste AND smell them, but sadly, I cannot. What is a fat girl to do? There’s nothing more dissatisfying than eating a vanilla cone with chocolate and nuts, and not being able to taste it. Not that I throw it out or give it to The Man or anything, but it’s just not AS good as it was when I could taste and smell.

We went to our favorite little hole in the wall restaurant where we go every Saturday, for breakfast. I ordered my usual and only ate half of it. When you are only eating to satisfy your tummy, you just can’t eat as much as when you were eating for taste.

Anyway, the waiter brings over some “Holy shit hot sauce” that has a little skull dangling off the side of the bottle. You know this is going to burn your eyelashes off just smelling it. The Man sniffs it. His eyes water and his nose starts to run. He sneezes twice and hands the bottle to me. Yea… ok, I should be able to smell this stuff. I sniff. Nothing. I SMELL. Nothing. So I inhale like a crack junkie. I feel a tightness in my chest but can’t smell anything, MY nose starts to run. My lungs are crying, my throat is threatening to close off should I become stupid and think that just because I can’t smell it, that perhaps TASTING it will work. Still nothing, just a slight chemical reaction in the back of my throat from smelling it. I hand it back to the waiter and ask if he actually eats that stuff. “Oh yea, all the time”

Could explain why his voice sounds like that. He fried his vocal cords. I’m not going to think about what it would do when you went potty! You couldn’t smoke in the bathroom, that’s for sure. Oh well, I wouldn’t be able to smell THAT either.