A Campin' we will go...

I am still chuckling over the past weekend camping with my siblings. My man, bless his heart is still chuckling as well.

My sister Shell, who was so drunk and ready to "shoot out the G-d damn spot light if someone will give me a gun" because the guy behind us had his 5th Wheel camper lights on in back. Not good to shine in a drunk's eye! Not to mention her double dog dare of The Boy (and a buck thrown in to ensure he would do it) to tackle Auntie P.

My other sister Am, who had bathroom troubles all weekend. In all fairness, I have to say that those stupid auto flush toilets aren't very predictable. HOWEVER....

One morning, someone had the overgrilled hot dog shits. So into the bathroom we go (Yes, we still go as a group, shut it) A woman was in there at the mirror doing her hair. Curling it with an curling iron, spray, comb, curl...

You hear the toilet flush 18 times and Am giggling and beating up on the toilet.

The woman must have either gotten a whiff or was just disgusted at the waste of water with all the flushing, 'cuz she packed it in a hurry and ran out the door.

I'm standing there waiting to see if my sibling makes it out alive or if the toilet flushing monster got her.

She comes out with a red face, her toilet seat broke, and every time she would wipe, the flush of the toilet would just add more water to her butt that she had to wipe again. Vicious cycle.

Add to that the Boy, who I thought we were ALL going to have to duct tape to a tree, the noisy neighbors, the barking puppy mill, the car alarms that people didn't know how to turn off, and the VERY loud music in the middle of the night, and it should have been miserable camping.

It was fun, gave us something to talk about over breakfast. But I swear, If I have to hear, "What do you do with THAT... What's THAT for... Why... why... why..." one more time, I WILL scream!!!

My achin' toe...

What's a vacation without someone getting hurt? You know, bug bites, scratches, something like that.

MY vacation was spent tending to my toenail.

My stupid sister, Shell, decided to be funny...

"Boy, I'll give you a dollar if you run over there and do your best football tackle on Aunt P" As I was walking, IN THE DARK, back to the fire.

So the Boy runs over, I can see his outline running towards us, then he ducks and as he goes in for a grapple of my legs, he ALSO does his best slide into home ON MY FOOT.

I don't remember what happened right after that. I only remember the fire and pain that started on my big toe and as I felt it in the dark, I feel that my ENTIRE big toenail has bent backwards. I struggle to hold on to Am while pressing it back down.

Yes, it bled, yes, Shell is laughing hysterically now, and yes, the Boy feels awful, but runs to collect his dollar.

The next morning we had to clip it as far as I could stand it to be clipped, and cleaned and wrapped. Looks lovely.

Of course, the other part of our camping weekend was great. Even though those beotches that call themselves my sisters left the FLOODED campsite for the Man and I, it was fairly dry by the time we got there to sent up our TENT.

We had a lot of laughs, lots of food, and as always, good memories to last me into old age with my siblings!

So I do have good memories of the camping, but wow, the toe thing still freakin' hurts!!!

Goin' a-camping...

My family all try to get their poop in a group and go on a vacation together.

I don't know why. Glutton's for punishment or something. You don't see the men in our lives try to get THEIR family's together to go on vacation.

I think it's actually some sickness we all have. We usually end up being on the stink eye end of waitress' at restaurants when you ask for a table for 18 or something like that. If the family of ALL girls and one lonely boy doesn't stop growing, we will have to buy our OWN campground.

Anyway...

So this year instead of the Queen and her immediate minions going, it's just going to be us worker's going camping.

Am and Mister are bringing their camper which my man and I are not allowed to sleep in... and Shell and Big D are rigged to sleep in their van. That leaves the biggest critter chicken in our family (me) to sleep in a TENT.

Ok... so I've done it before and for a week and this time there are bathrooms (I hope) and maybe even electricity, but still, THERE ARE CRITTERS.

The Man won't be able to keep his gun in the tent, and a "pokin' stick" only works so well.

So if I don't return on Monday, the critters got me.

"Lemme stick 'ya"

It's pretty bad when I have two people who fight over who's going to give me my arthritis injection.


I'm pretty sure I'm NOT blessed in that area. Thanks but I'll stick my own self you masochists! (Or would that be Sadists?) Who cares... sickos!

Brown Acres

There's a lot to be said about living in the country. I don't have anything to say about it since I haven't lived in the country in like 25 years. But I sure am looking forward to moving out to the country someday!

The Man and I spent the weekend out at Costello's house. They built their dream house and wow... it IS a dream. I would be scared to build that much house, but I suppose.......

The Man injured his back so he got a lot of muscle relaxers, which in turn meant that I got to relax too!

We ate like we were on vacation, we smoked like we were on vacation, ok, he didn't, but I did. And we watched the hummer's fight and carry on at the feeder.

It's funny that we've had this drought for months and then the minute we go on our mini-vacation, it starts raining, and it hasn't stopped! It was ok since Costello has the big old fashioned covered porch with overhead ceiling fans and all that. Was really quite swell.

The inside of her house is like a show piece. I was afraid to do anything for fear of messing something up!!

My house in the country will include roosters and dirt! (I don't wanna hear it mother, I KNOW I live in a sty now... *sigh*)

Ahhhh!

I will be relaxing in the country this weekend at Costello's house.

My USB Cable is working, although my computer is still WAAAY slow!

Enjoy the pictures... (yes, boring, shut it)

*Sigh*

Am said I have to update daily. Think it is just because she is bored and needs to live vicariously through me... LMAO... Ok, ok, ok... no nasty emails/comments from YOU Am... sheesh

Anywhooo... I'm updating.

Nothing is going on in my life.

The baby is walking.

My USB Cable to my camera is still broke.

My Punk daughter is still in school.

My Man is still wanting to marry me. (Even though I'm turning into one of those bridezillas over the lack of dress that I wanted)

I'm still fat.

My co-workers are still fighting over the bathrooms.

So... hmmm... I got nothing.

Na Na Sisterhood

I have these two sisters. Am and Shell. And while they are both swell, I have to say that they bug me... A LOT!!!!

I realize I am the oldest, but for some reason, I thought that our rilvery was over when we all moved out of our CrabbyMomma's house.

I was never so wrong.

Case in point (stolen from an email):

MichChick: P said you were making fun of that baby on her website.

CrabbyMomma: I was not making fun of the baby. I said he was cute. Where did she get making fun of him out of that.

MC: I TOLD her you were being warm and fuzzy and she got all bitchy and started calling me AND you names. Jeeezz…..quite oversensitive that one is.

CM: Why was she being bitchy. All I said was he was cute. It ain't her baby for gosh sake! Calling me and you names? Why?

MC: Don’t know…..something about her not getting the wedding dress she wanted and the shoes were the wrong color. Then BAM….all of a sudden I am the daughter of a fatherless whore and all kinds of god awful stuff. I think if she could have spit through her email, she would have. Said something to the effect of "how could we [us bitches] possibly talk about a poor helpless baby like that" and how we should feel "shame".
Interesting. I don’t feel anything.
How about you?

My sister, my baby sister, has ALWAYS been the instigator. "I'm not sure mom, but I think I saw your tape recorder in P's room" Seems age hasn't done a THING to change this.

My OTHER sister, my middle sister, is pretty much the same, but is the more PHYSICAL of us. She's the one that would be happy to trip you then tackle you while you're down. "What? I thought you took mom's tape recorder and I was just trying to help her out"

Swell...

Guess who's ass got blistered the most as we grew up... not theirs! BRATS!

Chickmunk Family

In case you haven't noticed, it seems that The Baby has some major cheeks on her. We finally figured out where they came from. 'Da Baby Daddy side of the family. The Baby's cousin. Proof.................

Blog reading!

As I said to my family earlier... I 'bout shit myself, myself after reading this post!

Cranky_ass

What Am I...

While I waited for my boss to sign her name on the dotted line. I was afforded time to play on the 'net...

Happy Thursday!

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You Quiz

There's a 36% Chance You've Been Abducted By Aliens

Even though you have a few alien abduction signs, you're almost certainly in the clear.However, if aliens ever do come to your neck of the woods... they'll probably be coming for you!

What Are The Chances That You've Been Abducted by Aliens Quiz

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You Quiz

Pitter Patter

The Baby is now walking unassisted. This is the time of her life that I wish she would wear a helmet with a face guard, knee and elbow pads, and that my house was completely carpeted.

She already has a bruise on her forehead and one on her chin.

Good going Grandma!

She's having a great time walking up and down the hallway, chasing the damned dog and cats. She has figured out how to work the swing gate into the laundry room where we keep the kitty litter and food away from the damned dog.

GREAT.

That's been tied closed now, and the poor Man forgets and practically rips the gate off the hinges. I'm not much better, but I've only managed to break 2 fingernails.

By the time The Punk shows up at night, The Man and I are exhausted and wonder how one little baby could possibly cause 2 of us to barely make it to bed after the door is closed. We're old.

The Baby's 1 year birthday party is Friday... I think I'm going to buy her a straight jacket and muzzle! THEN I can nap again!

Rustic Honeymoon?

Here I am, planning a wedding. We know WHERE we are doing the ceremony. We know WHERE we are having the reception. We even know WHERE we are going for our honeymoon.

Silly me, I’m online looking over the website to the honeymoon site when THIS little tidbit smacks me in the face:

This is Bear Country
http://www.exploringthenorth.com/porkiesum/bear.html


Ummm… is it too late to reserve a Motel 6? They leave the light on!

ahhhhhh....

While working in the snake pit today, I found this website and can actually utilize it!!! Go figure... I'm sure our Networking people will figure it out and put the website on the forbidden list soon... but for today...

AHHHHHHH!!!!

http://www.getrelaxed.com/

When I die...

As I was cruisin' the sites this morning, I ran across a site that had this nifty little cadaver calculator on it. I must admit that I'm a little disappointed that I'm not worth anymore than that.

You know us "bigger" gals pay more for our clothes, so ummm... I would have thought it would be "logical" that our dead bodies would be worth more. *sigh* What the hell.

Who THINKS of these things? And why?? 'Course, the real question is... why would I take that kind of test in the first place?

Ummm... research... yea, that's it.

I'm depressed. Now where did I put those chips.

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