Monday, October 29, 2007

I know, I know

... I have been neglectful of my blog... so here's a little tidbit for you all to chew on for today...


The Baby has been doing some sign language which is way helpful to those of us that do not know what "goink, goo" means. She's got eat down pat, drink, more, finished, bye, and blows kisses. Very cute. We are now trying to teach her cookie and nap (for the love of GAWD).


Yesterday I noticed that she was doing a fake cry only to turn and see her laying on the floor actually kicking her feet.


"MOM, turn around, don't even look at her and STOP TALKING TO HER"


Yikes ok then... The Baby has started to have temper tantrums at 16 months old! The Punk is ignoring them and her so she doesn't do it for long. I wanted to take pictures but I got yelled at. I think this is great. That old saying "What comes around, goes around" Gotta love it as a grandmother! *snicker*


The wedding "rocks" still look like candy, and I figure that if anyone attempts to eat them, then they are just plain dumbasses and if they break a tooth, I'm not paying for it. They all have ribbons on them so they can be hung, they have glitter on the Trinity knots, and they have labels on the back. Go ahead, stick it in your mouth. *sigh* Also in the picture are the little bells. CUTE but a lot of work... not as much as those "rocks"

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Nothing

I don't have anything to say... nothing funny is going on that I remember when I GET to work... my life now is revolving around Avon, Wedding rocks, a bolero everyone wonders is too small or keeping the baby out of the dog dishes and kitty litter box... hmmm... exciting... NOT

Monday, October 1, 2007

New Survivor Series

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation).

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00 . They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what theywant to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, 'You're not the boss of me'.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.