Shotgun Weddin'?

The important mom in the bunch has been told, so I’ve been blessed and the wedding can progress!

Ok, so it was anyway, but it’s important to tell my mother right? So what if I’m chicken and didn’t want her to know. She was going to yell at me!

How old am I?

I seriously wasn’t going to marry again and here I am planning it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. My last wedding took place in Toledo. We paid our $27, wrote our names in a big book. Changed our clothes, got felt up by the Minister, watched my mother-in-law lose her slip on the ground and completely screwed up my vows. Should have been a warning!

This time I wanted something more memorable, but comfy. So a small wedding and a big party afterwards.

Whose idea was this? Oh yea… HIS!

Ok, so both of us. I still wonder why. We won’t be having any children, we both have the same health insurance, we already live together, and we already share bills.

Why do I feel the need to have it be all legal with this one and none of the others? Hmmm… I like him better? He’s funny as hell, smart, and loves me and my kid.

Oh yea… he’s just what the doctor ordered to get me out of my funk.

So here I am thinking it’s all going to be easy. Ha… anyone plan a wedding/reception before?

I’m thinking about that dress this woman wore… *snicker*

Geeks For Take Out

For the past two days I've been working on my poor, old, broken computer. I know all about spyware, adware, grayware, trojans, blah blah blah... I've had registry probs in the past and have overcome them with a triumphant smile on my face. Satisfied in my own genius for fixing computers.

Until now.

I'm completely stumped. I've run all the typical scans for virus' and adware, and now am having to branch out and get help from computer geeks of a BETTER kind.

So until it's fixed and I'm once again smiling from my own determination and creativity in finding a solution, the people that I will be using are going to have a great time with me too. Nothing like a computer operator that THINKS they are computer geeks!!!

Little advertisement: http://security-central.us/forums//index.php

Ewww... what's that smell?

Yesterday, I received a call at work from my sister, Shell. This isn’t unusual, she will sometimes just call on her break or whatever just to touch base. Yesterday was a little different.

“What time does The Man get off work?”

“3:30 or so, why?”

“I need him to stop by my house after he gets off work and help Big Daddy get rid of a skunk that’s in our live trap.”

“Seriously”

“We were trying to trap the groundhogs that are destroying our garden, it didn’t even have any food in it yet.”
So ok then, I call The Man and the convo went a little like this:

“Can you go over and take a skunk out of Shell’s live trap for her?”

“OH HELL NO. Are you kidding? Tell Big Daddy that I’m sorry about his luck, but no way. I love you, and I really like your family, but a skunk? No way am I getting sprayed, been there done that!”

My sister, Shell, DOES have a way of getting into some pretty stinky messes, but I’m pretty sure this is the stinkiest. And after talking with The Man a little more and finding out that there’s just no way to let a skunk out of a trap without SOMETHING smelling, I was a little reluctant about him going over there too!

Big Daddy would just have to suck it up and sleep out in the tent for a few days. Or better yet, maybe let Shell do it! LOL.
So I’m imagining all kinds of bad things going on over there when Shell finally calls me later in the evening.

“Go look at your email”

“OK, why?”

“Just go look and shut it, it’s for your blog. I sent your other sister pics of the get-together for HER blog”

Great. My mother is horrified that I write about bodily functions enough. Now I get the stink, Am gets the pudding. *sigh*
Never-the-less… back to the skunk. Apparently it was a baby and it didn’t even spray. Guess we ALL learned a valuable lesson about live traps. *shudder*

Did you just call me fat?

For the record, the "new boyfriend diet" is WAY over and the "comfortable enough to eat like I usually do diet" is back on. So much for my 15 pound weight loss.

You would think that with The Man bent on making me walk all over the damned place, that I would lose weight. Instead, I must be gaining muscle under my fat. GREAT!

So this goes on for days, into months... *sigh* Imagine my surprise when I get out of bed yesterday after I found that I couldn't breath. I knew it... I'm finally having a heart attack!

Oh no... nothing that extreme. My lowest rib "popped" out. WHAT THE HELL!

Now, trying doing ANYTHING with a rib out, not just out of place, but popped out so you can feel all the way around it. I need a hammer to get it to go back in. I would use that if it didn't hurt so much!

The Baby has started a new game that tickles us all. She will hold on to your fingers, walk to the side a little and then stop and swing herself backwards. Not only are you expected to hold on to her hand, but you also have to catch her head in your other hand.

NOT a good thing to do right now, but she doesn't care, she gets PISSED if she can't do it.

Where's her grandpa with the damned stroller.

Anywhoooo... I need to lose weight before The Man and I get married. I don't want to lose a ton of weight, but 20-30 pounds will make me happy! So I am eating salads for lunch and protein and veggies for dinner. Not much in the way of carbs which makes me unhappy. I'm weaning myself off sugar which is going to be the hardest for me to do, but I've been assured that I could lose a LOT of weight doing just that!

*sigh* Ok fine.

The Punk, The Man and I were all talking about losing weight, and how The Punk and I need to lose it. (The Man doesn't need to lose any, hate that) When The Man says;

"Honey, when you are walking away from me, your butt looks like two Voltswagons trying to pass each other"

He just called me fat. The Punk is falling out of her chair, can't breath, and is laughing so hard I'm thinking of smacking her too.

"I don't mean the size, just the shape, I love looking at your butt."

I'm still speechless, and The Punk continues to laugh. I am sitting here right now, not sure if I should be offended or flattered. I'm pretty sure it's the former.

So that just did it for me. I know The Man prefers fat girls, but for my OWN well being, health and physical stamina, I need to lose weight. I don't know that I will be able to "keep" my Voltswagons, but I don't think I like that idea of that being in my pants anyway. Almost as bad as two raccoons wrestling in a burlap bag. I'm thinking...

So for the record... Today is the day I start an actual, conscience diet. Call ME fat will you!

Suuuwheet

At the risk of being all mushy and making my family gag, I wanted to write a little about The Man that will be my husband next year.

As some of you already know and love about me, I honestly was NEVER, EVER going to marry again. Period.

Been there, done that and it wasn't a good experience. I have enough ego, self esteem issues, didn't need anymore help in that department. Besides, knowing my family the way that I do, even though I still consider myself close, they would just blast me with negativity since The Man isn't their idea of "class".

However, he is my best friend. Never thought I would say that about a guy. Who can be best friends with a guy?? Other than another guy? He's into all this outdoor stuff, he LIKES exercise, he's ALWAYS (irritating as it is) HAPPY, and enjoys living every moment like it's his last.

I'm always amazed that he walked into this relationship and assumed father and grandfather duties without a blink of an eye. He takes all the daily demands of child and grandchild in stride and misses them when they aren't there or on the phone.

During our evening discussion, I again asked him WHY he had to get up at the butt crack of dawn. (Not much of a problem for you, I know, but he HAS to come wake me up to talk to him, so now you can appreciate MY problem)

His answer: "I can't sleep more than 6 hours a day 'cuz I'm afraid that I will miss something, a sunrise, the glitter of dew on the lawn, the sound of the morning. We are here on earth for such a short time, I don't want to miss what little time I have here."

Ok then. Once I started blinking again, we started in on a discussion about people who commit suicide. No, not me anymore, but some of the people we work with have those very ideas.

"I just found you, we don't have enough time together, I'm happier than I've ever been and haven't had to sacrifice to BE this happy. I love you so much that if anything were to happen to you, I would be lost. Not suicidal, but lost. If anything were to happen to me, and they say that it MAY have been suicide, don't you believe it for one second. If I have to go out, then I will be taking someone out with me... a flaming mass, kicking and screaming. I won't be one of those that just 'gives up'".

This is the same man that says "ouch" when I've hurt his feelings, who plays "tag" with me when we are dealing with the baby, he's the one that makes me feel better when I'm hurt by something someone has said or done.

And yes, being woken up by some loud assed baby toy and then having him act all innocent, is NOT making friends with me somedays, but he's never lazy, always ready to help anyone. He makes me smile when he talks like an old southern guy and can get me laughing so hard that I pee my pants. He's also the one that will hold me and never make fun of me for my fears or if I cry over something sad.

The old saying goes about meeting people who leave footprints on our hearts, he's left BOOTprints on mine.

*You can stop gagging now, I'm getting out my tissues*

Beep, beep

My sister, Shell, brought a little push/ride toy over for The Baby to keep at grandma's house, along with some clothes.

Since The Baby is ready to walk any minute now, this push toy is great and she had a good time playing with it yesterday. She got it going really well in the house much to the damned dog's anxiety. (Don't look at me like that, he needs to get out of the way when he sees her coming and screaming)

The Man and I took her outside with it and let her shove it down the driveway and back a few times. I'm imagining all kinds of bandaid needs, where The Man is just amazed by her speed and agility getting it to go where she wants it to go!

Other than trying to run the cat, the damned dog and us over with it, she's pretty good with it.

Now, how to get her to hush when you are ready to go in the house and NOT play with it. *sigh*

Two for one!

I promised pics of vacation in the woods last week, so will get that done today as well. I have much to do so it will all be short and sweet, which is probably just as well in your book! Just so you all know. While camping "rustic" style, this princess had to dig her OWN toilet. The Man, bless his heart, thought it would be good for me to do this since he can go anywhere, and I'm a little more needy in the bathroom area! I have to admit that it was a tough job. 1 1/2 feet of rocks and gravel which The Hunter helped uncover (he just felt sorry for me since I was grunting and sweating profusely) He only "loosened" the rocks for me, I had to actually dig them out of the hole.

After a break, I dug another 1 1/2 foot of black dirt out of the hole, which doesn't come off your clothes or legs easily. I was sweating, and my back was screaming, so I sat at the mouth of the hole and dug. Hey, easier than STANDING and digging.

Finally, 2 hours later or so, I had The Man come inspect the "latrine" to see if it was deep enough, wide enough, etc. He was quite impressed with my efforts and made a big deal about it. I was so proud and just winked at The Hunter for HIS help!

The two of them then finished it up complete with toilet seat, paper, wipes, and lime for AFTER using it! It's a work of art, and I didn't even break the damned thing with my big butt. Even The Punk used it and was impressed!

Beats hanging my butt over a log! My luck, I would have gotten poison ivy... there's enough of it out there!

*******************************

Yesterday we went to The Man's family reunion. I was nervous and made The Punk and The Baby come with us just in case The Man was called away for "family stuff". Smart thinking on my part, he had to help drag extra picnic tables over to our side of the park.

I was right that they would have a ton of food there, and The Man ate his face off. So much so that he fell asleep holding his stomach on the way home!

Everyone was nice, welcoming, and no one that I could tell was stinking drunk! A few beers and some wine coolers were all I saw. There were a ton of kids and lots of stuff for everyone to do. I met several cousins and aunts of The Man's, and when I would relay the names, he would just nod his head. I'm sure he can't keep them all straight.

They all go by "clan" names which I thought was pretty cool. So for all my worry, no one was mean, or rude, except for that one old woman who cut in front of me in the food line. I let her have her cut in line, but next year, she's going down!

FOOTNOTE* The kid getting ready to dunk the ball missed and the ball bounced off The Man's head... cracked The Punk and I up so much we about lost our seats!

Looking for the pot of gold!

This weekend is The Man’s family reunion. The IRISH SIDE.

In all fairness I only have a stereotypical idea of what this reunion will be like.

Kegs of Irish beer and/or whiskey. Loud, raucous laughter. Big, hairy men and red headed women and children everywhere. Food enough to feed more than a small country if The Man’s typical appetite is indicative of how his whole family eats.

I’m scared.

I’ve seen pictures of previous reunions and while everyone poses with smiles and opaque cups in their hands, it still makes me nervous.

I’m not much of a drinker or social butterfly any more.

The Man assures me that it’s a lot of fun. Uh huh.

He KNOWS all these people. He’s DRANK with all these people. I’m sure I will be able to toss a horseshoe or two. I know how to play badminton, but what of any IRISH games that they may have? What if I don’t like the kind of food they have there? Will I have to sit by the salad trays? *shudder* Do they do corned beef when it’s NOT St. Patrick’s day???

I’m taking Sushi.

Wow... having troubles with my home computer and now the blogger... hmmm... operator error? I can't get titles on, and the archives for July won't show on refresh... give me some time, either to fix it myself or complain to someone that knows how to fix the blogger!

I'm BACK!

My week was wonderful. Rustic camping is great. Of course, I'm sure it helps when you have The Man there being incredible. How can one man make my heart go pitter patter just when I thought all that nonsense had settled down into a comfy shoe!

Pictures will follow sometime this week, but for now, here's a summary of our week!

I got to sit outside nudie-tudie!

I got my merit badges in:
Latrine hole digging (this wasn't easy and broke out into a sweat frequently)
Starting a fire with a flint stick and a pocket knife
Shooting a compound bow and actually hitting the target
Cooking over open fires
and... 2 badges in advanced bird watching/identifying!

I identified over 43 different kinds of birds. Those were only the ones I SAW. NOT including those night birds that forced me to yawn and run to the tent at night. (Didn't say I earned a badge in bravery or anything, so hush)

I learned that I'm NOT allergic to poison ivy, and am able to identify several plants and trees that I've never seen before.

I learned that I won't die if I walk a couple of miles per day.

I've learned that just when you think that you can't love someone anymore, that they say or do something that makes you do the cartoon swoon! I love you Man!

I also learned that critters only come near camp when they are USED to getting their food from people, and that deer get pissed when you are on their part of the grass that they want to bring their babies on. They also make a noise that will haunt me for a long time to come. *shudder*

I learned that my headache is stress or work, or something since I haven't had it in over a week *knocking on wood*

I learned that my house is the same even after a week, but that laundry, dishes and weeds double in a week on vacation!

I learned that The Punk, even though she's young, is an incredibly reliable, responsible, and wonderful young woman. NOT in spite of me, but BECAUSE of me and the fact that I believed in her all those times when I could have just given up! I love you Punk!

I learned that despite everything, I love my family and am very happy that they are finding joy in my daughter and granddaughter! I'm proud!

I learned that I am happy and satisfied!

Ahhhhhhhh