Expecting Drama!

At 6:30pm last night, I received a call from my sister, Am. Now while this is unusual, I felt obligated to call her back in case it was something important. Since, “something important” is the ONLY reason she would call me during the week, I started to panic. There was no answer on her end when I called back, so I could only deduce that it WAS something important and she had to call someone ELSE to tell them or have them help her, whatever it might have been. In my mind it was something HORRIBLE, a flat tire on the expressway, she needed me to go to the hospital to be with one of her children while they had a bone set, she needed a hair tie so she could watch another soccer game without her hair in her face. HORRIBLE indeed!

At 6:45pm she calls again and I answer on the second ring only to hear, “You got Enquirers and spray? Is The Man home?” Ok, I’m thrown, what the hell? “I’ve gotta poop so I’m coming over and I need Enquirers and spray and I don’t want anyone busting in on me, I’m on that Macrobiotic diet, so I have to go now” The Man is looking at me anticipating what we are going to have to do. She’s on her way over to poop. Great. If I could smell, I’m sure that I would insist on the spray, but unfortunately, The Man used the rest of it during our last Gross Out Fest , so we will have to suffer.

The Man just rolls his eyes when I get off the phone. “Your family...” he says as he shakes his head and puts the fish in the oven. What the hell does THAT mean??? I’m sure he just called me fat.