The Punk

I am a mother of an 18 year old. I was REALLY young when I had her. 'Cuz I am NOT that old! See how I turned that around?! Jay is an only child for several reasons. One, she was too cute to have a sibling, I was afraid I would get a really ugly kid if I had any others. Two, she made me crazy. Literally. I am not the same person I was before I had her, not just in my horizontal girth, but in my mind as well.

I was prepared when I GOT pregnant. I knew what I was going to do, what kind of mother I was going to be. Our relationship and lives were going to be perfect. Ahhh... the wonderful dream! Then she was born.

When the doctor came in and said that her lungs were just fine, I was relieved, at first. Then I found out just what he meant by that. WOW!!! She didn’t come with a shut off button, and if she had batteries, I never found out where they were, so couldn’t pull them either!

At her baby shower we had after she was born, I would try to hand her to the people there. Everyone loves to hold a baby. Not mine. “Oh, that’s ok, I already held her once. I don’t need to hold her.” I'm thinking, What the hell people... everyone wants to hold a baby!!!

The doctor told me that she would grow out of it. Ummm… ok. He failed to tell me that it would get worse before it got better, he also failed to tell me that it would take more than a few YEARS! The child’s temper tantrums could peel the paint off the NEIGHBOR’S walls, and her screams echoed throughout the neighborhood. Sometimes I would go outside and sit out one of her fits. I could hear her screaming so loud that it vibrated my inner ear and caused my teeth to ache. People would walk by the house and all I could do was just smile and nod... heh heh... No one in there beating her, I swear.

We survived the terrible 10’s, and made it to teenage hood with the usual troubles there. Just when I thought for sure that I had it licked, my award would be in the mail for SURE, she got pregnant.

For those of you with a 17 year old that is/was pregnant. You know how I felt. I was BEYOND pissed. I was humiliated, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed, and most of all, I knew that I had failed. The crushing feeling of knowing that you won't be getting any award. The only thing you will be getting is the saddened looks from your family and friends. She hadn’t even made it thru high school and now SHE was going to be someone’s mother. You know what I’m saying!

Well… I don’t know what happened, something happened to her while SHE was pregnant. She lost her mind too… Not only did she continue high school but graduated with honors! Seven months pregnant, swollen and crabby, my baby made me crazy again, but this time with pride, love, and a multitude of other feelings that I STILL don’t recognize!

How could the child, who we lovingly considered Demon’s spawn, have done the one thing that as a mother, we always hope for. Not to mention that she did it all while pregnant. What an incredible punk she is indeed! The topper to that? She's the best mother I know!

I AM, however, still waiting for my Mother-of-the-Year award that they tell me is STILL in the mail.