The Man has many "pet" names, "baby", "honey", "maniac" all come to mind. But on the weekends, I have names for him that I shouldn't use here!
He is a former farm boy, Veteran, and all around optimist. So even on the weekends, he is up BEFORE the butt crack of dawn. At 5:30am you can hear him in the kitchen listening to NPR, making coffee, feeding the animals, washing walls, taking out the garbage, or fixing something. He's not quiet about it. He doesn't realize that I have spent the last 20 years perfecting my weekends. I try to pretend I still have that life, but if I'm not up by 6am, the Maniac Man comes and "wiggles" the bed. "Honey... the birds are up, I made coffee for you... 'wanna go to breakfast?" He DOES know the way to my heart!
I gingerly and QUIETLY find my way to the bathroom, hoping for a few more minutes of peace and quiet. Oh no, the Maniac BUSTS into the bathroom, coffee in hand, "Come ON babe, we have STUFF to do!"
I don't know what the hell he's talking about. Stuff... My brain rolls the word around in the fog. What can you possibly do at 6am in the morning on a Sunday? Ohhh... why would I even ask that question.
He let's me have my coffee before he announces that "WE" need to load the lumber and wood into his truck. "WE"??? *sigh*
So I haphazardly put my hair in a pony tail, put some clothes on and make my way into the garage where he's already pulled my car out and backed his truck in... GREAT, I'm in trouble now.
Needless to say, we took the camper thingy off, loaded the back with all that wood, and drove out to GAWD knows where to unload it.
So that was fine, I got McDonald's breakfast out of it. And I'm still upright.
THEN, all hell breaks loose... he wants HELP with the backyard... OMG... it's a mess, we need a bulldozer, I'm too fragile of a female to do that kind of work! But 4 hours later and a fight with the rose bush that I DIDN'T win, the yard is on its way to looking fabulous!
Notice the fence? Ya, that's where the rabbit hutch was, and on the other side was where a box for compost was. Mostly used for stuff that I was too lazy to put in the stupid bags that just end up falling apart before I get them to the curb.
So the yard is looking great and I think I'm done and am going to enjoy the rest of the day visiting the inside of my eyes. HA! "We need to get the greenhouse veggies in, you want to go ahead and start them?" *sigh*
When the day is over, and the shadows are FINALLY long enough to be able to tell the Maniac that I can't see to do anymore, I'm exhausted and FINALLY get myself to my lovely bed.
Oh my GAWD... I can't go to bed with mud on my feet and arms, and sweat under my boobs for crying out loud... *sigh* Just a quick shower and life is perfect. I get into bed and there's the Maniac... sound asleep with a smile on his face. GAWD, I could just kiss his precious little face.... or slap the crap out of him for making me so sore and tired. Yes, I blame him, always the optimist. But instead, I kiss him, roll over and dream of the yard that will be filled with such beautiful flowers this Summer, without all the eyesores!!!!
The Fat Girl
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